For most people September 22 is just another day. It’s Just another day to decide what to wear, who to text, or what to eat for breakfast. For a select few , that will wake up tomorrow, September 22 is and will always be a day that changed our lives, minds and hearts.
This is my heart poured out………
It was September 22, 2006 and it was a rainy, gloomy day. This has got to be my favorite time of year because its almost fall, its my birthday month, and its when we have our annual family campout. That September was especially awesome because by the next Friday I was going to be at a concert at Olivet Nazarene University to see Matthew West and Barlow Girl. I had just turned 23. I was so excited to hang out with my cousins, and aunts and Uncles.
My well part of my family, was there a day earlier than everyone else and that Friday I couldn’t wait until all my family was there. When I was a kid, this was always the highlight of my summer, the family campout I mean. We would eat together, play games, walk the family night walk, and then have a family bonfire (which somehow we always got in trouble for). Who would have ever thought that the events that would soon come to pass. I was never prepared for that…I don’t think anyone was prepared.
There was one person in particular I wanted to talk to and see. I don’t know why she was weighing heavy on my mind but she was…but she wasn’t at the campground yet…in fact her whole family wasn’t yet.. it was about 6 at night, and we were at my Aunt Juliene’s camper talking, and having fun….as we where a police car pulled up, surely it wasn’t for us…but it was…That person I wanted to talk with was my Cousin Sara and little did I know then but I would never get to…
The police officer told us that our family had been involved in a car accident and that is all we knew….My uncle Buddy and Aunt Judy left in a flash and we were left waiting….waiting for answers, waiting for good news, waiting for anything. I think those were the most agonizing hours I have ever delt with…
In the next few hours we got a call to our worst fears we had found out that Sara was gone and then in a few hours after that we got news that Randy (my cousin and her Dad) didn’t make it either. The good news was that Kim (my cousin and Sara’s mom), Emily and Adam had survived the crash.
We were all Zombies that weekend..at least I felt like one. I would go from campsite to campsite in a dayz. With an empty camping lot staring at me, the camping lot they were suppose to be on. All I wanted to do was go home.
For the next week I can’t explain it, but I wasn’t myself. I would walk the halls of work at living hope Church without a smile. I couldn’t laugh, I couldn’t cry, I just was there….
I had all these questions in my head, the most dominate one was WHY!!! Why did this happen to us!!!
I wasn’t mad at God but I was angry it had to happen to them…my family..to a teenager…to a father!!
Sara death was really sitting hard with me for some reason..Maybe it was because she was so young, but I remember praying...God, sara didn’t get to get married, she didn’t get to become a teacher we talked so often about, God she didn’t get to go to prom, graduate High school…Lord Help me understand because I am failing..
God didn’t have to give me an answer..but He did, though the people that spent everyday with her. She got to do some of these things but I just didn’t see it. She did get to go to a “prom” and she got to go see her favorite band (simple Plan) but most of all she got to be a teacher. Not just any teacher my teacher.
See I found out that she was going to share her testimony to everyone at the campground about how God has changed her life. She wanted to teach her family how to get closer to loving Jesus as much as she did. I can honestly say, that I have.
I don’t understand why God deiced that sara and Randy had to go away and I don’t pretend that I will ever understand. What I do understand is that things are going to happen in your life that you can’t choose. People are going to lose their job; there will be car crashes, bad hair days, and even the death of a loved one. The one thing you can choose is to get up again. Even Jesus knew what it felt like to lose someone that he loved. When John the Baptist was beheaded it says that “ 13When Jesus heard it, He withdrew from there privately in a boat to a solitary place” (Matthew 14:13) . In the book of John right before Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead it says he wept, He wept for Lazarus. God is always going to be bigger than anything that you are facing. Sara and Randy knew that…
She doesn’t know this, (I guess she will now) But Kim Rollins is I think one of the most amazing people I know.. and not just because she watched me as a baby!...but because even after all her loss she still decides to get up! It might not be easy but she gets up! Beauty came from pain…It is awesome to see where she, Emily and Adam are right now. I know God has something big planned for them!
Thinking about Randy and Sara is not as hard as it used to be….There are days where I have to myself and I see a fire truck and I instantly think of Randy(he was a Firefighter) and I tear up, or I hear the Song I Can Only Imagine and I ball like a baby..The Good outweigh the bad.
Through all this I have learned that life can go away in an instant, that through the rubble a flower can start to grow, and God is so much more than I can comprehend and He is in control. Also its okay to have those why questions as long as you have faith that God holds the answers
Thank you, Sara for always teaching me, and just being who you are. Randy thank you for teaching to love and always laugh the loudest. I will always miss them but I know FOR CERTAIN WITH OUT A DOUBT they are walking the street of Gold.
I never got to go to my concert with Matthew west and Barlow girl that September…I always felt that it was incomplete that I was missing something. Then a year ago Barlow Girl came to my church for a concert. This thing of not being able to see them and everything that I had been holding in left out it felt almost bitter sweet. I got to talk with them and thank them for helping me though a rough time…
not only did Barlow Girl come to my church but Matthew West as well…It felt awesome to be able to share my story…I told Matthew West I waited a long time to hear you sing live, and he replied, “I hope it was worth your wait!” I honestly believe that was the best concert I have gone to in a really long time, and it was worth the wait.
I am truly thankful for who I am, my family, and what I have been through..It is what has made me stronger and helped me to grow deeper rooted in my faith.
Ti my Family we have been through a lot but we have weathered the storm, and I LOVE YOU ALL! May we keep our family traditions alive and never forget how precious this life is..
God Bless Everyone,
Love Angie
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